Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Blessings from Above

This month has been surreal!  I was informed back in June that there would be at least one slot in the Children's Waiver Services opening in July.  (The CWS gives services for Jacey that Insurance doesn't provide.)  Needless to say, I was the squeaky wheel that called the Developmental Disabilities Program coordinator, Lori, to see when the slot would be filled.  She gave me the date that they would make their selection not for just one slot but two.  I called that afternoon to learn that their system had required them to make choices for their adult program first.  The date got pushed back another two times.  I called each time she thought they would have it completed.  To say the least, my nerves were shot waiting to learn if Jacey would get one of these slots. 

Lori called me when they were able to make the selection.  The two slots had three children that were eligible, each less than a point from each other's priority score.  My nerves were even more raw knowing that Jacey was one of the three.  In the end, Jacey was given a slot starting August 1st.  I was amazed, humbled, and overwhelmed with the feeling that Jacey was being watched over.

When Lori told me that Jacey had received the slot, she also told me that a slot was opening up in the Children's Autism Waiver, another program with a larger budget to work with Jacey.  This slot would be filled by a lottery drawing.  Since I don't gamble, I didn't hold me breath and had completely forgotten about it until I received the phone call.  Jackie was calling from the Developmental Disabilities Program (which I assumed she was going to want more information for the Children's Waiver Services), when she informed me that Jacey had been chosen for the Autism Waiver.  I was shocked and didn't know what to say.

Between these two experiences and the fundraising for Jacey's service dog having gone so fast, I feel so blessed.  I know that Jacey is being watched over by our loving Heavenly Father.  I am so grateful to know that we have help again for Jacey.  She has so much potential and she's been given the chance to shine through the Children's Autism Waiver. 

As a mother, I want so much for Jacey to excel but had no way of funding all that it would take for her to go far.  (We're still waiting to hear from insurance.)  I am extremely humbled to have been blessed with not just having received the slot in the Children's Waiver Services but the Children's Autism Waiver slot as well.  I never would have dreamed that I would have to choose which Waiver to select for Jacey.  It is incredible.  We've gone with the Autism Waiver since it has a larger budget and is more intense.  It requires Jacey to receive a minimum of twenty hours a week of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). 

I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for blessing Jacey with such wonderful things.  It is amazing how she has been blessed in such a short time by people who helped us achieve our fundraising goal so quickly and to also have been chosen for the two waivers. 

And to think that all these things are blessings from above.  Jacey is a very special little girl...

Friday, July 9, 2010

Humbling Thoughts

It's been a while since I've posted here.  I didn't feel like I had anything worth while to write about.  Until this past weekend.

A family that we are friends with had a terrible tragedy.  I was shocked when the announcement was made over the pulpit at church of their loss.  I couldn't believe it and felt somewhat numb like it hadn't really sunk in - Their three year old grandson was accidentally run over in a parking lot and killed.  He was a beautiful little boy full of energy who was constantly on the go.  This family holds close to them the knowledge that they will one day be reunited with their son/grandson/nephew on the other side.  They know that he is in a better place and free of any pain.  I am grateful to have this peace in my heart, of knowing that they will be reunited one day and that death is not the end.

I attended the funeral of this sweet little boy and sat next to my mother and father-in-law.  Karen (MIL) showed me her pile of Kleenex and I told her I had some too if she needed it.  I thought to myself that I was going to be just fine.  That this wasn't my child, wasn't a child that I knew hardly, but that I mourned for the family.  However, the minute they brought the itty bitty Hurst by in front of me, with his little shoes resting on top, the rains came pouring down!  How fragile this life is, how we need to enjoy each moment, how I need to hug my children a little bit tighter and tell them I love them dearly even more often than I already do.  Life passes us in a blink of an eye and for this little boy, it was cut even shorter.  The funeral was beautiful.  This little boy's mother sang a beautiful song and lullaby - how she was able to get through it, I'll never know.  His aunts sang a children's song, and another aunt played a beautiful lullaby on the piano.  I cried like I haven't cried in an extremely long time! 

The reason I write of this event is because it reminds me how grateful I am to know that Jacey is receiving a service dog.  Every day, both at home and in public, I fear she will somehow get away from us and something is going to happen.  This winter, she managed to get away from Judd in a crowded church hall.  He found her standing out in the middle of the parking lot in sub zero temperatures without her coat on.  It brings me back to how important it is for me to never let her go, but as she gets older, bigger, and stronger, the fight to hold onto her gets more intense.  I am so thrilled to receive a service dog that we will be able to tether her to for her safety and my sanity.  This reality of coming comforts is only made possible because of people like you who helped us achieve our fundraising goal.

I pray that I will never have to bury one of my children.  I pray that this family that I speak of will find peace in their hearts.  And I pray for my children's safety.  This experience has given me an increased appreciation for my children and for each of their individual personalities.  I appreciate Jacey and for her increased desire to want to be near me.  Might we all go to our children, whether they are young or old, and give them a hug and let them know of our love for them.  My children are one of the biggest blessings in my life and I want them to see my feelings in my actions.  Life is too short to let anything get in the way of spending time with those we love. 

I'm going to go give my children another kiss goodnight...